How should I use my gaijin powers?

Every time I open my mouth around Japanese people I make an ass of myself.  I've been trying so hard to blend in with my surroundings and I just don:t seem to be able to do it.  I think trying to blend in with the Japanese people is only going to cause me more stress, depression, performance anxiety, and the like. 

I need to just embrace the fact that I'm a gaijin!  Yes, there are people in the street staring at me and whispering, "Gaijin," under their breath in my general direction.  Yes, there are people who stare at me on the train and probably wonder what the hell I'm doing here.  Yes, I use the incredibly formal and polite usage of, "Thank you very much," when receiving change from people in the Quickie Mart.  Yes, I trip down stairs because I keep forgetting that little half stair that doesn't seem to make much sense.  I'm going to stand out no matter what I do... 

Now the question is, How should I stand out?  How should I use my powers as an outsider?