Garbage trucks and karaoke

First things first... I think maybe I was high when I decided to come here. I'm not a teacher. I don't know the first thing about getting other people excited about something that I'm just not excited about. That's what The Company expects of us. And rightfully so. There are English language schools all over! I haven't seen enough of Tokyo yet to even warrant using a percentage, but I've seen at least six different schools already. English is big business here.

I think it's important to note that the first thing that I saw upon arrival in Japan, at least the first thing I took notice of, was while I was working my way towards customs in the airport. I was looking out the window onto the tarmac and saw what looked like a garbage truck speeding by. On the side of the garbage truck it said, "Friendly Airport Limousine." What should one think of a country that uses garbage trucks as limos and calls them, "Friendly?"

It's my second night in Japan. We, being myself and about nine of the other people in the training class, went to a restaurant/karaoke bar. Sadly, I'm not going to be able to remain vegetarian. They ordered a salad for me--which, let it be known, I didn't want--and when it came it was covered in shrimp, octopus and various pieces of unknown sea creatures. I picked all the seafood off--with my chopsticks, and I wasn't even drunk!--and tried a piece of lettuce, only to have to stop myself from spitting it out immediately because of the horrid fish taste. I had a piece of sushi and wasn't impressed with it at all. In fact, I had the same reaction to that as I did to the salad.

So I guess the highlight of the night, other than singing, "Hotel California," was that I ate my first omelette with chopsticks. So my original fears about starving while here might just come true, except that it will be because I can't eat any of the food, not because I can't use chopsticks. Which brings me back to the sad fact that I'm just not going to be able to remain vegetarian. Or eat out anywhere.

It has come to my attention--once again--that I'm just not very good with foreign languages. Really, it's a wonder I can speak even one language. We had our first Japanese lesson today, and I have no idea what the hell that lady was saying. I don't know what I was trying to say or what the person was saying back to me, but I think it had something to do with sushi. I only know that because for part of it we had to put on a jerry-rigged paper sushi hat.

So this jet lag thing... I don't know if it's jet lag or what, but there has been something dreadfully wrong with my eyes since about half way through the flight here. This morning when I got up my eyes were all bloodshot and I could barely see. It was like that all day. They don't sell eye drops at the convenience store up the street, so I had to wait until I got back towards the train station to stop in a pharmacy of sorts. I say, "of sorts," because it was really more like a kiosk than any pharmacy I've ever seen. It was at the corner of a busy intersection, right outside the train station, and the isles, which spilled out on the sidewalk, were packed with both people and miscellaneous pharmacy-type items. Unfortunately for me, everything is written in kanji, which made it incredibly difficult to find the eyedrops. Thankfully there was someone from the group who knew enough Japanese to speak to one of the clerks who then pointed me in the right direction. When I got the eyedrops into my eyes, it was all I could do to not scream out in pain. It felt like I was putting peppermint oil into my eyes!

So I'm not sure what I think of this mythical land of neon yet. It's so horribly humid here that it makes Florida seem like nothing. The mosquitos are really slow here, too. They're so easy to kill when they're slow. There are vending machines everywhere that sell various drinks, cigarettes [no Marlboro Ultra Lights, though], and beer. I haven't found any used underwear vending machines yet, but I'm keeping my eyes open for one. It costs more money to get a Coke than to get a beer, and much to my dismay, Coke tastes too much like Pepsi. Although I did get a 20oz. Coke at the Quickie Mart today and it came with a Minnie Mouse handkerchief, which I won't mind using in this heat--despite the Rat. The streets are all the size of one-ways, even though they're not, and the cars are so incredibly cute that I'm finding it hard not to gush over all of them.

Can you think of the last time you were able to get close enough to touch a fly? Normally those little bastards are so quick that you can't get anywhere near them. There's a fly buzzing around me right now. It was in my hair and when I put my hand up there to brush it out, it just stayed there. I touched it. Twice. Then it went into my Coke. I tried blowing it away, but it didn't move. I tried shaking the bottle a little, but it didn't move. Finally I had to stick my finger in the bottle to get the damn thing to leave. Is there any reasonable explanation for why the bugs move so damn slow here?? Are Shintos not allowed to kill bugs and somehow the bugs know it?